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Single, Successful Mature Woman's Dilemma by Kelly Green

A Single Mom's Response

In Part 1, Kelly shared with us that recently she found out that, seven years after her first surgery, her doctor has told her that she has fibroid tumors again. Their recurrence has made her think about whether she will ever have children. She is single. In Parts 2 and 3, we read the stories of three other single, successful women in their 40's who talked with Kelly about their struggle with wanting to have "The American Dream" of children and a family at this stage in their lives. 


In this blog, we are sharing a response from a single mom who read Kelly's story. Read the story below.  and to catch up on the earlier parts of the series, click here.

Greetings Kelly,

I am desperately trying to get back out there after taking a huge leap of faith to become a single mom but it has been difficult to say the least. On a daily basis I find myself having to sacrifice my wants and needs to prioritize what's important for my child. Don't get me wrong Kelly, I LOVE MY SON UNCONDITIONALLY. But, I would be lying if I said I didn't miss my life and my career. And while the truth is--Yes, I could have maintained a career simultaneous to becoming a mom. However, that would have meant that my child would have suffered in so many ways, especially since I am a single mom. I knew that I wanted to be there for my son, take him to school, pick him up, do homework, dinner, play-dates, sports, etc. I wanted to make sure that I would be his first teacher and his true connection to this earth in a way I never had. Because I was willing to put me aside, I have been able to be all those things to my son. However the flip side is that I am not necessarily happy with my self-productivity and progress.

Motherhood is such a thankless role despite all that it requires. Many days I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, I'm just my son's mom. But then he comes home with straight A's or he wins a soccer game or he writes me a note to tell me he loves me and he's sorry for something he did and I am instantly reminded of the all the reasons why I sacrificed and altered my life for him. These moments also affirm the fact that I am a great mom and though I am not the savvy career mom I work harder than most career people. Being a parent is a non-stop responsibility. Whether you are a single parent or two parents raising a child, the responsibility is overwhelming to say the least.

I say all this to say to you my sweet Kelly, that no matter what the doctors say, what is meant for you is for you. If God is going to bless you with a child, then He will do it. He has the power to maintain your health and see you through pregnancy and delivery. Whether there is a Mr. Right, no Mr. Right, Fibroids, etc., it doesn't matter for God is greater than all of those things. I have three friends who suffer from fibroid tumors/endometriosis. Two of them have gone through all the medical channels and have now progressed to natural remedies and wholistic methods for dealing with their ailment. They both take A LOT of different herbs and one of them actually gets the herbs from India hand delivered because the methods are not approved in the U.S. This person was also told she would have to have a hysterectomy, however she refused to get it because she does not have any children yet and also no male prospects. I begged her not to get the hysterectomy and I am also pleading with you to NOT get a hysterectomy.

Unless your life is on the line there are other alternatives. Around the time that my friend was deciding to get the hysterectomy or not, I saw a documentary. The documentary was actually on a study of 100 women. Fifty of the women had hysterectomies before the age of 50 and fifty of the women did not. The documentary pointed out that during a certain time period doctors frequently advised women of color, especially black women to get hysterectomies for little to no reason. Often times the women later found out that there were alternative methods to dealing with their ailments but they were never advised of ANY of the alternatives. Also of the 50 women who got hysterectomies, they all suffered or suffer from Alzheimer’s/Dementia disease. Of the 50 women who did not get hysterectomies they did not get or do not have Alzheimer’s/Dementia. My grandmother is in the group of women from that era who had hysterectomies. She is 96 and has suffered from Dementia since 2006. Other than her mind she is perfectly find and still functions on her own for the most part. She had a hysterectomy when she was in her 30's as a result of her doctor’s advice which told her she had no other options. I have practiced eastern medicine and acupuncture for over ten years now. I not only believe it works, I know it does!

I just wanted to share this with you as you ponder your situation. No matter what, GOD IS IN CONTROL AND GREATER IS HE WHO IS IN YOU THAN HE WHO IS IN THE WORLD!

 Luv u Kels,


*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the author.


Kelly Green is your Personal Brand Blueprint coach and the force behind Insider Branding Secrets.  She is also a Certified Wellness Coach. She spent 15 years as a marketing executive in the entertainment industry and she did her job so well that many of her artists received Grammy Awards and multi-platinum status. But in 2005, the debilitating effects of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) became too much to manage in the fast paced, stressful world of entertainment. This eventually led to her being laid off.

In an attempt to find alternative ways of treating the MS, she was introduced to a health and wellness coach. After that meeting, she decided to get certified as a wellness coach and begin a new career and a new life. During her coaching sessions she began to notice an underlying theme among most of her clients -- they had lost their identity in the illness. So she founded The Personal Brand Blueprint to empower new entrepreneurs and career transitioners to build a powerful Personal Brand, clarify their marketing message, identify their target audience and attract more clients, money and success! Visit Kelly's website for more information on her story and her services: http://insiderbrandingsecrets.com/