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The Single, Successful, Mature Woman’s Dilemma--Part 1

by Kelly Green

I recently found out that after 7 years, my fibroid tumors have returned. Not only have they returned, the doctor said they're 7x's the "normal" size! Needless, to say I was more than disappointed. First of all I had no idea that there is a "normal" size for fibroids. Secondly, I knew that there is a possibility of fibroids returning even after having them surgically removed, but for some inexplicable reason, I really thought I would be exempt from that statistic! Now I'm faced with a major life-changing decision: I'm 41-years-old, with no children, and no prospects of a husband on the horizon. Do I opt to have the fibroids removed hoping that the day will come where I will be in a position to get pregnant? Or do I keep them in and worry about whether I can in fact carry a child when - and if - the time comes? Neither of those seems like viable options to me.


I've done the research and talked to my doctor this time and the last, and all of them say "if they"re not bothering you, don't bother them". But that just seems wrong on so many levels! How is it o.k. to keep a foreign object like tumors in your body?! But wait, the doctor also gave me another option (if that's what it can be called!). Have a test to see if I can carry a child at all, in which case if I can't, then everything else is moot -- I may as well have a hysterectomy. Getting the fibroids removed (the biggest of which is the size of a small melon) could lead to: 1) excessive bleeding and infertility, 2) an increased possibility that they could grow back if the removal was a success, or 3) an emergency hysterectomy while on the operating table! What kind of options are they??


And this was the kicker -- the doctor asked why did I wait so long?! What? Was she serious?! I haven't been sitting back twiddling my thumbs for the last 41 years consciously waiting until I'm old and at risk of having no children! Doesn't she know how difficult this is for me; with no options for a father?! I knew I wasn' the only one going through something like this. I would say, that more than half of my friends, all 40+, are facing the same dilemma -- I'm successful, I've done everything by the book, I've tried waiting for Mr. Right -- will I ever have a child??


So I wanted to talk to some of them and see how they are coping with this dilemma. In recent news, there was the story of Ann Pettway, a woman who had stolen a baby from Harlem Hospital 23 years ago; the baby was just 19-days-old. When investigators asked her why she did it, she said because she wasn't sure if she was able to give birth to her own child. Now, I know none of my friends are that desperate (at least I don't think so!), but I know for some of them this a serious concern.


All of these women have different backgrounds; different races, different professions, live in different parts of the country, but they all have 3 things in common:


  •     They are all single (not married or in long-term relationships);
  •     Successful (career women, management or entrepreneurs, with college degrees and beyond);
  •     Mature (over 40-years-old).


In the next blog (next week), I will share their stories.  Stay tuned. [See "The Single, Successful, Mature Woman's Dilemma"--Part 2]


Kelly Green is your Personal Brand Blueprint coach and the force behind Insider Branding Secrets.  She is also a Certified Wellness Coach. She spent 15 years as a marketing executive in the entertainment industry and she did her job so well that many of her artists received Grammy Awards and multi-platinum status. But in 2005, the debilitating effects of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) became too much to manage in the fast paced, stressful world of entertainment. This eventually led to her being laid off.

In an attempt to find alternative ways of treating the MS, she was introduced to a health and wellness coach. After that meeting, she decided to get certified as a wellness coach and begin a new career and a new life. During her coaching sessions she began to notice an underlying theme among most of her clients -- they had lost their identity in the illness. So she founded The Personal Brand Blueprint to empower new entrepreneurs and career transitioners to build a powerful Personal Brand, clarify their marketing message, identify their target audience and attract more clients, money and success! Visit Kelly's website for more information on her story and her services: http://insiderbrandingsecrets.com/