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The Single, Successful, Mature Woman’s Dilemma--Part 3
by Kelly Green

Recap:  (To read the entire blog, click here.)

In Part 1, Kelly shared with us that recently she found out that, seven years after her first surgery, her doctor has told her that she has fibroid tumors again. Their recurrence has made her think about whether she will ever have children. She is single. In Part 2, we read the stories of three other single, successful women in their 40's who talked with Kelly about their struggle with wanting to have "The American Dream" of children and a family at this stage in their lives.   

Part 3 features the stories of three more women:  


Nikki, 41, SBF[i] -- Nikki has a very successful career and she is financially independent.  She recently ended a relationship with someone she thought was "The One". During the relationship, Nikki got pregnant and was very much ready to keep the child even without the wedding bells. But unfortunately, she lost the baby.  Soon after that, the relationship ended.  


After that experience, Nikki made up her mind to have a baby on her own. She felt she was ready both financially and emotionally. Although she considered artificial insemination or adoption, Nikki chose to get pregnant the natural, old-fashion way with an old "friend"; in other words, a friend with benefits! Again, Nikki lost that baby 5 months into the pregnancy. She was devastated. How could this be happening again? Why, if she was ready for the responsibility of a child, was this happening? Nikki will be 42 this year and although she really wants to have children, she doesn't know if she can go through the disappointment of losing another child.

Shelly, 43, SBF --
Shelly knows for sure that she doesn't want to give birth! In no way is she ready to endure the pain of labor and delivery, and she's known that for a very long time! At this point in her life, it's more important for her to be married. Shelly wants to adopt a baby. However, she believes that to have a baby without a father is selfish and the idea of going it alone doesn't sit well with her. "It's impossible to be totally prepared to have a baby, and to make a conscious decision to have one by yourself just isn't fair", she says.


Even though Shelly would like to adopt, she is prepared, because of her age and because there are no "baby-daddy" prospects on the horizon, not to ever have children. If "Mr. Right" were to come into her life tomorrow, she is open to having a conversation about children, but this would have to be a very powerful, and very persuasive conversation!

Jenny, 41, SBF -- Coincidentally, Jenny has spent the last 20 years as an Obstetrician and Gynecologist. So, when she went to see a fertility specialist at age 39, she was in somewhat familiar territory. But, this was different in that this was her fertility. She knew that time was not on her side and she needed to make some decisions if she was to ever have her own biological child.  She decided to have her eggs harvested. Unfortunately, due primarily to her age, the doctor was unable to retrieve enough viable eggs to be frozen. Not only was she disappointed, but she was out of a lot of money. The medicine she had to take for the procedure cost more than the actual procedure! 

So now Jenny is back to square one. She has set a deadline of age 43 for getting pregnant. She doesn't want to have a child alone, although financially she could. For her, having a baby entails more than financial implications. She grew up with both of her parents and 2 siblings; so naturally, she wants the same for her child. All of her life, she has done everything by the book -- got her degree, landed her dream job at 22, brought her first house at 25 and a second house shortly thereafter -- but having her own child was (and still is) that missing piece of the puzzle. If by age 43 she isn't pregnant, she will try In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), [artificial] insemination or as a last resort, adoption. 

She just renewed her 20-year on-again/off-again relationship with her "boyfriend" who just so happens to also live 700 miles away. Although she is now trying to have a child naturally, it makes it that much harder when you're 41 and having sex only once a month! 

Do you have any advice to offer these women?

[i] S  =  Single           B  =  Black            F  =  Female         W = White


Kelly Green is your Personal Brand Blueprint coach and the force behind Insider Branding Secrets.  She is also a Certified Wellness Coach. She spent 15 years as a marketing executive in the entertainment industry and she did her job so well that many of her artists received Grammy Awards and multi-platinum status. But in 2005, the debilitating effects of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) became too much to manage in the fast paced, stressful world of entertainment. This eventually led to her being laid off.

In an attempt to find alternative ways of treating the MS, she was introduced to a health and wellness coach. After that meeting, she decided to get certified as a wellness coach and begin a new career and a new life. During her coaching sessions she began to notice an underlying theme among most of her clients -- they had lost their identity in the illness. So she founded The Personal Brand Blueprint to empower new entrepreneurs and career transitioners to build a powerful Personal Brand, clarify their marketing message, identify their target audience and attract more clients, money and success! Visit Kelly's website for more information on her story and her services: http://insiderbrandingsecrets.com/